Dealing with Rejection as a Young Musician – 4 Ways to Overcome It

If you auditioned for college or grad school, it’s that time of year where you’ll be receiving a lot of letters! We hope that we’ll hear only positive results, but that’s not always the case. Dealing with rejection is a very real part of being a musician. Here are some tried and tips to help get you through some hard times.

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Why You Might’ve Been Rejected

I think the biggest realization that I’ve come to in terms of rejection is that many reasons why you might have been rejected might not have had anything to do with you.

The school might not have a large enough budget. It could’ve had to do with how many of the instrument or voice part they’re actually auditioning for this time around. Maybe you just didn’t make the cut. Maybe you wouldn’t thrive in that program, and they think that somewhere else would be a better fit for you.

There are so many factors on audition day: who played before you, who played after you, the temperature and humidity, the judges’ moods… the list goes on and on.

Just because you’re rejected somewhere does not mean that you are not a good musician. It does not mean that you’re incapable of having a career in music; it just means that this isn’t the place for you.

Hopefully you will be accepted somewhere, and that somewhere will work for you. You can always try again at a different time or at different places. You never really know what the exact reason you’ve been rejected is for, and that’s one of the most difficult parts.

Reacting to Other’s Judgements

​​A lot of what we do as musicians is based on other people’s judgments, which isn’t a very healthy way to live. So much of what we do is based on whether someone accepts us or if they reject us. We’re not going to win absolutely everything that we try for, so we’re sadly going to have to deal with rejection at some point.

One piece of advice I received on Instagram was “Never put your self-worth in the hands of others.”

It’s absolutely true–it’s such an unhealthy way of thinking! Your self-worth should come from you and how you feel about your playing; how you feel that you’ve progressed; what your goals are, and how far you’ve come.

All of those things can help you determine your self-worth. Also, consider the rest of your life outside of music! If you enjoy your life, if you have friends that you can rely on, so many things can determine your self-worth. You shouldn’t put it in the hands of judges who are just accepting you or rejecting you. It’s such a small aspect of your life in comparison to everything else.

There’s Somewhere out There Where You’ll Thrive

Another piece of advice I received was “Rejection doesn’t mean you suck. Usually it just means it wasn’t a good fit.”

There are so many different reasons why you might get rejected from a school or an orchestra, or whatever it is you’re auditioning for. You might just not be the right fit. You might be a great fit for a different school or a different orchestra who are looking for different qualities, but for this one, that’s just not what they’re looking for. Why would they bring you in if you wouldn’t thrive there?

This is just a different way of thinking about it. The whole process isn’t quite as black and white as you might think it is.

Along the same lines, someone else said, “If you got rejected it wasn’t meant to be in the first place and there’s something else that’ll serve you better.”

Try Again

Take the time to feel whatever you need. Then decide what your next step is, whether that’s auditioning somewhere else, waiting a bit, changing career paths… find a way to continue growing in a way that feels good to you.

Final Thoughts

If you’ve been rejected to just one school or just one orchestra, that’s also totally fine. It’s normal. I’ve been rejected so many times, and i’m still a professional musician teaching private lessons for a living. I’m doing okay, and I feel good about myself, even though I’ve been rejected so many times.

If you’ve auditioned for music school this year and you didn’t get in anywhere, that’s okay. That happens to so many musicians. It doesn’t mean that you can’t be a musician–you can try a different strategy! There are so many routes that might not seem as conventional, but they’re also totally valid.

You just can’t dwell on all of the rejections, because it’s going to bring you down and make you feel like you’re worthless or that you can’t make it as a musician. One rejection does not mean that you’re bad; even many rejections does not mean that you’re bad. It might just mean that you’re not the right fit for what they were looking for, or they might not have had room for you. That’s okay.

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I hope this helps you redirect negative feelings that you might have from being rejected. Being a musician is difficult, especially since a lot of our success relies on the opinions of others. If you’re struggling, feel free to DM me on Instagram at @lifefromtheviolasection. I’m always happy to help!

If you have advice or a great lesson you’ve learned from rejection, please share it in a comment down below! I’d love for young musicians to have as many resources here as they can.